So life was good until almost two years ago when my marriage was suddenly, irretrievably broken. Before that day, I had a beautiful home, a “perfect” family, two amazing kids, two swanky cars, a few dogs, a great job – everything I ever wanted in this world I had. I remember sitting in my home one day all alone and thinking – I have everything I’ve ever wanted…. why am I not happy. When the marriage fell apart due to my husband, I lost most of that list. Some things permanently, some temporarily. The house is on the market, we need to pay debts with the equity. I now have one of the two swanky cars – he got the other one. I have to share time with my kiddos now and that sucks. I ended up with the dogs (yay!) but spent several months without seeing them because of the ex. I quit a job for a better job, then wrecked my motorcycle, missed a bunch of work to heal, finally got better and got called into court by my ex. My boss decided I’d missed enough work and fired me.
I’ve lived a hundred lives since April 2013. I’ve survived leaving a verbally abusive husband, I’ve survived a very bad accident which included unbearable pain and agony as well as lost memories and feeling trapped in a broken body. My ex filed for divorce in June 2014 the day I was to go in for surgery due to the accident because yeah, he’s an awesome guy. I survived a bad breakup. I have had to learn how to live with no money after being unemployed for months. I had to learn how to be a single mom. I had to learn how to cook and clean. I had to learn how to grocery shop and do meal planning.
Anyway, that was quite the emotional tangent. I finally found a new job in mid December. The job I have pays on the 15th and last day of the month. So I wasn’t going to be paid until the end of December for the three days I got in before the 15th of the month. And the next full check wasn’t going to be full because of the holidays. I took some pay advances just to have food in my house and to make a rent payment. January 31st was my first, all at once paycheck. My lawyer and his lawyer had been discussing the fact that I had no money and couldn’t pay until February 1 and he was okay with that. I made a timing error and missed getting to the bank before it closed. He was paid on February 2nd. He filed fucking contempt of court charges against me.
He claimed that I would never, ever, ever, ever pay unless the court made me do it. He claimed he was destitute while I was swimming in cash flow. (Yet I lost 20 pounds starving myself to save food for my kids while he took them to movies.) He asked the court to make me pay it all RIGHT NOW with interest oh and he wants me to pay child support going back to October even though no order has been issued for it. And he wants the spare key to the truck that’s in my name only that he’s driving.
First, the timestamp on the cashier’s check I paid him with shows I had it hours before I was served with the contempt paperwork. So clearly I had every intention of paying him before the court got involved. The judge was not happy with his lawyer. She looked at him and declared immediately that I would not be held in contempt, that there would be no judgement (which means no interest on the missed payments), and that it would get paid “later” and is not a priority over the community debts. In other words, fuck you fuckerson. You don’t get shit and I don’t have to pull money out of empty pockets to try and pay you. You can wait until the house sells to get your damn money asshole.
So then came the issue of child support. His lawyer used the court form and did his own fancy math on it and submitted it trying to say well this is a unique situation because no parent is the primary because we split the weekdays in half since he works at night and I work during the day and on and on and on about how his math is better than the form that has all sorts of laws that say how it needs to be filled out. His lawyer’s version showed me owing about $1,700 per month in child support. My lawyer filled out the same form following the letter of the law and it shows that because I have the kids for 96% of the overnights during the year that HE actually OWES ME child support even though I make a shitton more money than he does. The judge literally yelled at my ex’s lawyer telling him he fucked up and to fix it. His lawyer also left off a key computation of the alimony money which shows him making more and me making less when factored in. The judge admonished him for that one. He should be embarrassed.
I’m guessing though based on my experiences with them that my in-laws are telling, rather mandating, what the lawyer will do. He is probably advising them against everything stupid petty trick they’ve tried but they push instead and lose. My guess is that they will fire him, blaming him for losing instead of their own pettiness, and hire someone else who will end up in the same boat as this guy. After all, my father-in-law did declare that I was a cunt who will end up living in a cardboard box and I’ll never see my kids again. Looks like his loser, asshole son who needed mommy and daddy to buy him a house is the one that would be living in the cardboard house without kids. I’ve got a good job and even if I have to pay out of my ass until my son graduates high school, there’s still an end in sight to this drama and someday I’ll be living in my dream home again with everything I’ve ever wanted minus the asshole ex husband.
The judge clearly hates that lawyer and my ex. This is the second time they have shown up trying to eat me alive and leaving worse off then when they came in.